I'm shutting up....after this

what should i do with you
i'm exhausted
and tired of thinking
about you
money
jobs
and not getting by

I'm sick of you coming home
and acting like a child
as if you were unsupervised
out there
and changed back into
what you used to be

you said you were going out
for a while
at 2 pm yesterday
I went to bed last night
and woke up alone again
almost ready to give up
almost ready to start acting
like all the other women you know

i see your truck pull up to the
tree line
hesitate and leave
when i knew you saw me
avoiding confrontation
and i wonder what would happen
if i gave you
and ultimatum
or just gave up

I gave up so much of myself
to be with you
do you realize the consequences
do you realize that this
is more serious than you think

the other day you said you
missed me so much
and couldn't stand to be away
and i knew that those were
the first kind words in months
"i love you" is just by habit now
those words they hold no value
or weight
or am I just angry ?
should i just close my mouth?
am I taking things for granted?
am I overeacting?

i'm shutting up now
anyway