Whaaaaaaa

It is amazing what a baby I am.

He came to work to say good bye and I bawled. I came back into my office and had to leave cause I bawled again.

I got home and bawled and then did it again after he called to say goodnight. And as much as I am a baby I am shallow too. The money factor is the only thing that is getting me through this. I keep calculating the paychecks when he only starts tomorrow and doesn't even recieve his first paycheck until the 13th.....of June!

Ugh, I am miserable. And I knew I would be, but I am even more miserable than I knew that I thought that I would be.
I even was going to call him this morning to ask him to come home. But we are too far gone now. We have no money coming in besides my small insufficent paychecks and there is no turning back now.....

ugh.....

I am such a suck.