Operation Rekindle Friendships Vol. 1

It's been 3 years since I have exclusively hung out with "my friends" as opposed to our friends, which seem to be for the majority "his friends" I have made a list and I am intent on fullfilling my friend-type duties.....sorry it took me so long folks...If I am missing any one .....don't feel left out, just drop me a line.

• Erik ( spoke traded voicemails and emails...I've missed you buddy!!!!)
  
• Mimi ( wished her well on her trip to South East Asia with Ness, once she gets back we are going back to regular coffee dates like we used to)
• Vaness ( same as above about the trips, but it will be more difficult to visit her...which sucks DONKEY!!)
• Danielle ( went out for dinner and a nice walk down Corydon...going for lunch friday)
  
• Heidi ( went out for a walk on Corydon on friday with Danielle.
  
• Kenny (coming into town Thursday, supposed to be going for drinks)
• Lesley ( see above)
• Rob ( who knows?????)

It's my stomach and I'll cry if I want to ...

stomach aches shouldn't last 6 days now should they?
ugh.....absence makes the stomach have acid.


ugh.


i miss Danny.....I am sad.

She's My Kate

In honour of my friend Vanessa's 26th birthday today here is a favourite song of ours that I'm pretty sure Ben Folds wrote about her and named it "Kate" to protect her identity..... cat's out of the bag now.... Happy Birthday Darlin! All the best and have a awesome AWESOME time on your trip!! Lots of Love!!

Kate

she plays Wipeout on the drums
the squirrels and the birds come
gather 'round to sing the guitar
oh, I...
have you got nothing to say?
when all words fail, she speaks
her mix tape's a masterpiece
walks through the garden
so the roses can see
oh, I...
have you got nothing to say?

and you can see
the daisies in her footsteps
dandelions,
butterflies,
I wanna be Kate
Kate
Kate
Kate

everyday she wears the same thing
I think she smokes pot
she's everything I want
she's everything I'm not
oh, I...
have you got nothing to say?

she never gets wet
she smiles and it's a rainbow (oh, oh)
and she speaks,
and she breathes
I wanna be Kate
Kate
Kate
Kate

down by
the Rosemary and Cameron
she hands out the Bhagavad Gita
I see her around every couple days
I wanna see her so that
I can say, "hey...
Kate"

she never gets wet
she smiles and it's a rainbow (oh, oh)
you can see
I wanna wanna wanna wanna be...
Kate
Kate
Kate

na na,
Kate
Kate
Kate

na na,
na na,
na na

Baby I'm Amazed.......

i was so mad at you
and thought you would
never understand

but you read what i wrote
and I saw on your face
silently
that you got it

improvements, small but significant
such a weight
lifted off me

2005 Winnipeg Folk Festival Review

Ahhh folk fest, my favorite time of year. Better than Christmas, better than any birthday. It truly is the best time of the whole year, although it does take me at least 2 weeks to recover from it. And this year it just may take me a little longer.

THURSDAY
The weekend actually started for me on Thursday since I was fortunate enough to again have holidays to take (rather than subjecting myself to the torture of having to miss out on Thursday night and suffer through work on Monday) Last year working at Shit Hole Collision rather than enjoying the whole weekend at Folk Fest resulted in me quitting the week after Folk Fest. Killer! Anyways Thursday at 5:05 I ran over to the hotel, eager for my weekend to start. I was a little dismayed that we were stationed in the basement of the hotel, (I guess the Fairmont is slowly starting to edge us granola munching, stinky pig feet folkies out) but I saw Danielle and Heidi and Dave so I was psyched! My shift started at 6 but I had some arranged transportation for the Kawa Brass Band from India and Ricky Skaggs & his group so I had to stick around. The Kawa group obviously were a little out of touch (which happens when you only have 1 band member that speaks English), no one could find them until 5:30 when they were found wandering the lobby when they are supposed to be at the site and on main stage at 6. Needless to say I had to herd them like little lost sheep shove them in vans and get them out the site even thought they would miss their set Chris(the Artistic Director) worked through it, sending out good sports, Nathan in their place. I returned to the hotel to bring out Ricky Skaggs and his band and get his family to follow us out. Ricky was nice and I basically met half his family including his daughter Molly and his band. Never in my 8 years as a Transportation Crew Member have I ever met a band who couldn’t a) remember how many were in their band b) count to 9. I was exasperated by the time I got half of them in my van and ready to go and it didn’t help that I had to drive out a Airport crew member that drove me nuts before and during the ride. She thought I was a new crew member, thought that she was driving another van (when the band was sitting and waiting in the van I had started up) and talked incessantly, blurting things out like some misbehaving child eager for attention and again thinking that it was my first year. Danielle, Heidi and I, had already made a little run out to the site on Tuesday so I was semi prepared as to what the site looked like. It was dry in the campground, and the back stage road for the busses looked pretty good under the circumstances. However, the evening got progressively dark and eventually a huge rainstorm began as Ricky and his band took the stage. They got cut short; rather they cut themselves short in fear for the audience, (what a hard core bunch we are!!!) as fork lightning filled the sky. Danielle and I took the coach bus back the hotel after standing in the rain for 2 hrs and I stayed at her house (Holiday Inn look out!!).

FRIDAY
We woke up early and headed off to the Fairmont at about 9. Danielle was the only one that had to be there but I wanted to help out most of the day so I tagged along. We enjoyed a muffin and juice breakfast, hung out with some performers, talked with some performers, including Stephen from the Weakerthans, Sandy Scofield, and a shit load of others. It’s always a nice morning when you see Valdy hanging out, the ladies from Be Good Tanya’s sitting having a muffin while watching previous nights performance and interviews on Shaw TV. Folk Musicians, it’s a beautiful thing.
Friday night I had the honor of driving Dr. John back from his kick ass performance on the main stage. What a pleasure! His manager Hooter was a very memorable guy, prompt, organized and a breath of fresh air. My Dad is a pretty big fan so I thought it was pretty cool. It was a busy place backstage and with the Dr and his band leaving at 3 am we were on a tight schedule. I also drove back Kaki King’s tour manager and a good friend of hers as well. The girls were nice, the Dr. was a quiet riot and Hooter kept us entertained with stories of other festivals, pot flavored lollies and asking me to rev up the engine on my 2006 Ford Expedition I got to drive all weekend. I taught them about the northern lights, how to say Aurora Borealis, the quickest way to the Hotel from the Festival Site (including bolting through the field!) and about our Loveday mushroom plant. After all the hugs and goodbyes at the hotel, I had a drink with Dave and went back to Hotel Danielle for a brief but purposeful sleep.

SATURDAY
Lucky for us!!! We got to sleep in until 11 and Alan came to pick us up and bring us to the hotel. We helped out at the hotel, had lunch in the velvet glove and tried to get our whole crew to sign Linda’s Card that I made for her (it was her 25 year of volunteering for our crew and the Festival….go Linda!!!) The temperature kept climbing all day and with each hour that passed the humidity in the basement grew unbearable. This year was so much busier than others. There were so many requests from performers and tour managers, it was clear that we were understaffed. The airport crew was never there so it was lucky for them that our crew had so many people that worked all day long and so many extra shifts so that some one was at the desk to answer questions…and deal with people like Nikolai Dunger. Nice man, but doesn’t understand English. Which is difficult when he is trying to get back a sweater that he had lost and hop a flight out of town. Some times I think the Festival should provide US with translators. Saturday continued on not without a major catastrophe, when we were supposed to take Lila Downs and her group to the site for their night performance. I was running around like a mad woman with buses breaking down, phone calls and whatnot, Ted was waiting upstairs for the group and when I came upstairs he was loading some people in the van, me, assuming that this was the right group got the rest of them and their gear in my van and we headed off to the site. At Main and McDermot one of them band members jumps out of Ted’s van, runs up to mine and as I roll down my window he exclaims “we are going to the airport right?” and all the color from my face drains and I turn the corner and head back to the hotel. With no one to take them to the airport (they had forgotten about Auto rickshaw) I called them a cab, pissed off the doorman, and switched all their gear and group over to the cabs, rounded up Lila Downs and started all over again. Thankfully they were al kind and patient people. We stopped at 7eleven on the way stocked up on water (32 above!!) and were finally on our way. Saturday night was great because we set up a good little area backstage but sort of in view of the stage (which for this year was almost impossible, since they took the viewing area away from the performers and the volunteers…..grrrrrrrrr) we had citronella candles, bug spray and I stocked myself up with the best damn lemonade in the world !!!! It was a beautiful night.

SUNDAY
Heidi and I took off in a van from Danielle’s in the morning to be at our 9 am shift. This is difficult when you only had 4 hrs sleep the previous night, but we woke up got ready and left with Danielle’s daughter Sam and her friend’s to drop them off for the festival shuttle at the hotel. Normally Sunday’s are boring and painful because most of the performers have come and gone and there isn’t much to do. Normally. However this year was exceptional. Heidi ran Sylvia Tyson out to the site at 9:20 and I was left at the hotel like a fucking call center rep picking up the slack from the other crews. Valdy thought I was bananas, hotel hospitality thought I escaped from the mental facility and people on the escalator should have got the hell out of the road. I did meet some nice people however…Rennie Sparks from the Handsome Family, Brendan McGuire (sound guy and former producer of Sloan and Sam Roberts) who I would later rush to the airport to retrieve Feist’s guitar after waiting an hour for customs, and speed out to the site to get there in time for her show!! J That would later be my only experience with Feist as I missed her show and workshops because of my shifts. I did catch one of Kinnie Star’s songs on the mainstage (how long have I waited to see her….) Once I got to the site (after a cake run, a crispy chicken sandwich run, a slurpee run, and a stop off at Danielle’s house run) it’s was about 6. Everyone ate and we headed to the mainstage and set up a spot with the crowd outside the volunteer area (that would be us taking spots away from the paying public Mr. Chris Frayer) Sunday night was a pivotal evening for me. For the last 4 years the Folk Festival has sort of shifted away from the traditional folk elements of the festival. I’m not saying that they were un-enjoyable acts but Folk Music will always have my heart. I was slightly disillusioned in the Folk department up until about 9 pm Sunday night. Xavier Rudd took the stage and brought me back to my happy little granola munching, Birkenstock wearing, dirty pig feet heaven. I had heard of him from his last year’s performance at the festival, but had never seen him. I’m telling you people…. he is the cat’s ass and a bag of donuts. Spiritual, friendly, handsome, musical, lyrical, insightful…beautiful. He reminded me that night of why I volunteer for the folk fest and inspired me in so many ways (now just don’t tell my husband :)
If you ever have the chance to see him, don’t hesitate just go.
After Xavier, Daniel Lanois took to the stage and about 3/4’s through his set one giant dark cloud loomed overhead. At one point I looked up and saw a flash of lightning, and suddenly the temperature dropped 10 degrees and a huge gust of wind hit us. A thousand or so spectators suddenly packed up and headed for the gates. At one point someone mentioned the word “tornado” so I gathered up my stuff and headed back to backstage. It took 3 of us to pack up the whole transportations gear and belongings and stuff it in the back of the van. The tents in the backstage area are swaying in the wind, the sky darkens and I’m disappointed that there may not be a show for Emmy Lou Harris and no finale. It starts to rain a bit and then the dark clouds disperse and every one calms down a bit and we head backstage to organize, calm, referee the chaos that is backstage. Emmy Lou’s set was beautiful. She is beautiful. The lightning that flickered in the background was beautiful. And the show went on. A small group of volunteers gathered with us to go up on stage for the finale. I was thankful that I was determined to learn most of the words to the Mary Ellen Carter; I figured after all this time why not. We went up on stage with Valdy, the Campbell Brothers and Emmy Lou and sang the remainder of the night away. The party at the hotel was fun, and probably even more so this year because we rented a room. I went to sleep at 5 and t’was the end of another fun filled Winnipeg Folk Festival.

I think 2006 I plan on being more involved in the festival. I have a lot of ideas and I hope everyone will be receptive to them. I know Danielle needs more help and I don’t want another year like this one. It is always fun, but I don’t think we should always carry the brunt of the stress and workload. I know the festival has made me a better person. I have created friendships and learned a lot from the people I work with. I definitely don’t ever regret signing up and I can’t wait till next year.

I'm shutting up....after this

what should i do with you
i'm exhausted
and tired of thinking
about you
money
jobs
and not getting by

I'm sick of you coming home
and acting like a child
as if you were unsupervised
out there
and changed back into
what you used to be

you said you were going out
for a while
at 2 pm yesterday
I went to bed last night
and woke up alone again
almost ready to give up
almost ready to start acting
like all the other women you know

i see your truck pull up to the
tree line
hesitate and leave
when i knew you saw me
avoiding confrontation
and i wonder what would happen
if i gave you
and ultimatum
or just gave up

I gave up so much of myself
to be with you
do you realize the consequences
do you realize that this
is more serious than you think

the other day you said you
missed me so much
and couldn't stand to be away
and i knew that those were
the first kind words in months
"i love you" is just by habit now
those words they hold no value
or weight
or am I just angry ?
should i just close my mouth?
am I taking things for granted?
am I overeacting?

i'm shutting up now
anyway

Boys are Dumb

"Nobody said that love was gonna be kind
But they did say that it was pleasurable as it was divine"

London

more terror
and blood spilled
senselessly
again
this time
somewhere
like us
seemingly
more familiar

and as we
send frantic
emails
and
wait to hear
back from
friends, relatives
i wonder
which
fair
country is next

and i watch tv
angered by the
liars
and that lies
that they tell
don’t they
know that
this isn’t reporting
this is causing
chaos
and death
and madness

all the coulters
and o’reilly’s
spewing hatred
collecting
members of a
return hate
coalition
with their
“he did it first!” motto
like siblings
that, not even for
the life of this planet
could get along

london’s burning
and we all sit back
and shake our heads
unable to commit
to a cause
unable to commit
to africa
unable to
get off our asses
from our
comfort zone
and picket fences
figure out a way
to not fight
fire with fire

help...i need somebody....help....not just anybody

i am sad.

and lonely


and it's Folk Fest


I should be happy


but I am not

Nessie-V is leaving for T-Land Soon and I love her

fuckin sexy ain't she

..."so houray for me and fuck you..."

"Cold beer, hot wings
Wranglers, Skoal ring
Get just what you see
Gun rack, ball cap
Don't take no crap
Ain't a pretty boy-toy
I'll rock you steady
Rough and ready"

So he's found another rig to work on, I got a frantic phone call at 9:30 as if I had magical powers to multiply the cash in our bank account. I think not. So he's been, for the last 4 hrs trying to pack, an insane amount of survival gear into his truck to leave immediatley for Berger, AB. Where the fuck is Berger? I'm assuming it's near, around, past Calgary. ugh. Poor Danny. But he has had the last month off. Sympathy revoked.

I honestly feel like going to Fat Angel and eating a whole platter of Calamari and about 6 martinis....yeah, I'm going to do fabulously on this dr. induced diet.
Freaking Fabulous.
No carbs for 2 weeks, no fruit for 2 weeks, no corn, carrots or potatoes, no sweets.
All for the sake of a future devil spawn to grow in this buddah belly of mine. Houray.......must ........stay........motivated............ugh.

At least the rain stopped today, even if it was only for 15 minutes. There are some flooded out yards/streets/fields/creeks/floodway that's for sure. I thought i was going to have to damn well canoe to work today.....it was a close one. But the weather is supposed to improve...thank goodness for sunshine.


t-one week.......... Winnipeg Folk Festival go....enjoy...have a great time and i will see y'all there.


ps. no tomfooley on pope's hill y'hear?

Charleswood

that summer
spent undulating
hiding out
secrets and hushed
moaning to conceal
what we were told
we shouldn’t do

the night
she went
in and out of rooms
“hawaii hot boxing”
we snuck in some
careful touches
but she knew

you “escorted” me
to a wedding
got so stoned
i left you
sleeping at someone’s
house
and was giddy with
my new
responsibility

even when afterwards
you kept reaching
for a friends hand
vying for our
attention
to satisfy your
fantasy

i refused
with
pouty lips
and
we left her
behind
fuming
and i
succeeded
for the
very first time

listened to
“over the hills
and far away”
and it felt the way
i wanted it to
but
so quickly
it faded
into daylight

we don’t speak
anymore
but sometimes
send
messages
through
strangers –

censored
“hello’s”

sometimes
i don’t think of you
at all
but sometimes
my stomach
hurts
because i do
too much.

This is a tribute

to the blogs i love to read on a regular basis, either to be inspired, to be humoured or to get a naughty peeping tom kind of vibe (which is all good...hey i air out my dirty laundry too!)

Explosive Laughter We love Heather, she sends Mindy music AND helps her with her blog. She's an awesome photographer and web designer too.

Van Nasty She's a charleswood supa tuff and one of my oldest bestest friend. And I made her wear a bridesmaid dress and she doens't hate me.

Raymi She's beautiful and creative and doesn't give a shit if you don't like her blog. I love it!

Melissa She's a hilarious, no holding back Mom. She writes the way I think in my head and wish i could put on paper. "She's got skilz

Dirty Alana Who doens't appreciate a girl with a dirty mind. :)

Check these peeps out!



oh yeah and a big shout out to my bank lady who is helping us out because we are so poor.
We love you!!!

who made reading so hard?

they take a polaroid and let you go, say "they'll let you know"

I am definitely asking for an ass kicking that’s for sure.
I invited my mom’s side over for a barbeque this weekend.
It was supposed to be a simple non-martha-type event (which is tough for me), I didn’t even make any clever invitations, I just had my mom call a few aunts and have it go from there. I really just thought that someone in my family other than my mom and dad and brother should come over to my house. And why not!! I’ve been to all of their houses!!
Anyways, there are little kids and good food and booze and my favorite cousins that I miss coming in also so it should be a good time. I hope I survive it.

On another stressful note….Dan hasn’t gone back to work from shut down yet, which means no pay. Which means more credit card and utility companies calling and me pretending the “fake cry” in order to hold them off. Except for Bell Expressvu. This blog is a welcome spot for Expressvu haters. I loathe Bell Expressvu. How Suzie-Q’s goes out of business and they don’t amazes me. Suzy Q’s had wicked shakes, awesome hot dogs, jukebox that you can order songs from your table, Bell has shitty service, shitty programming and lobotomy subjects working in their customer service department.

But enough bout them…..let’s let my blood pressure settle a little bit

I just checked the weather network. Its now supposed to have a thunder shower tomorrow late in the day. Exactly when everyone is supposed to show up. Wonderfuck.

I am a happy girl. I really am. I have new flooring in my kitchen, freshly painted hallway, fixed gazebo roof, and Miss Heather D sent me some lovin via Canada Post this week also. Mixed Cd !!! yeah !! I’m loving the song 17 by Ladytron it’s killer creepyawesome. Thanks Heather!!!!! You rock girl!

I’ll keep you all posted on the barbeque front, also I’ll be stressing out about my doctors appointment with the fertility doctor on the 27th……I’ll have to go without Dan and I’ve only lost 10 lbs and not 15….ugh. I need some major motivation.

Also I’ll be posting some new entries on damselindistress poetry soon…..god I can’t wait to get myself a laptop……..

Have a good weekend kids. Don’t forget the sunscreen….

Stay tuned and we’ll be back after these messages……

Go togther like a horse and carriage.

don't you all wish you had a husband that would invite all his loud friends over on your last night together before he goes away for two weeks and wrecks the nice dinner you had planned and then gets drunk, takes off, doesn't come home but leaves a nice voicemail at 2 am....
"usss, Mindy I can't come home cause usshh me and William are a little bit drinking"

I love being married.

and if the answer is no, can i change your mind

I'm alright
I'm ok

Hurting and stomach aching
but surviving.

Dan is home, on shut down
messing my house
organized chaos

it's amazing how lonely
you feel
when someone dies
and how guilty

but I'm alright
and I'm ok
i'm surviving.

I'm screaming

Mindola
Originally uploaded by Skittlesjoss.

new me, and i dont' care

i feel like screaming
i feel like smashing ...anything
throwing porcelain through plate glass
taking my pills with my jack and coke
playing in traffic
talking to strangers
not wearing a seatbelt

i'm mad today more than sad
and sometimes i wish i could be mad
more often
i'm so tired of being quiet
i'm so tired of being invisible
i'm tired of being passed over
and not treated
and not having the same things done
to me
like i would do for you.

i'm grieving
i only got 1 email
no calls
she died and dan called
this morning and asked how
she was
i hung up the phone
i am a bitch
i drank jack daniels all day
i want to be a disaster
i can't pay attention anymore