Thursday, June 30, 2005

Nessie-V is leaving for T-Land Soon and I love her



fuckin sexy ain't she

..."so houray for me and fuck you..."

"Cold beer, hot wings
Wranglers, Skoal ring
Get just what you see
Gun rack, ball cap
Don't take no crap
Ain't a pretty boy-toy
I'll rock you steady
Rough and ready"

So he's found another rig to work on, I got a frantic phone call at 9:30 as if I had magical powers to multiply the cash in our bank account. I think not. So he's been, for the last 4 hrs trying to pack, an insane amount of survival gear into his truck to leave immediatley for Berger, AB. Where the fuck is Berger? I'm assuming it's near, around, past Calgary. ugh. Poor Danny. But he has had the last month off. Sympathy revoked.

I honestly feel like going to Fat Angel and eating a whole platter of Calamari and about 6 martinis....yeah, I'm going to do fabulously on this dr. induced diet.
Freaking Fabulous.
No carbs for 2 weeks, no fruit for 2 weeks, no corn, carrots or potatoes, no sweets.
All for the sake of a future devil spawn to grow in this buddah belly of mine. Houray.......must ........stay........motivated............ugh.

At least the rain stopped today, even if it was only for 15 minutes. There are some flooded out yards/streets/fields/creeks/floodway that's for sure. I thought i was going to have to damn well canoe to work today.....it was a close one. But the weather is supposed to improve...thank goodness for sunshine.


t-one week.......... Winnipeg Folk Festival go....enjoy...have a great time and i will see y'all there.


ps. no tomfooley on pope's hill y'hear?

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Charleswood

that summer
spent undulating
hiding out
secrets and hushed
moaning to conceal
what we were told
we shouldn’t do

the night
she went
in and out of rooms
“hawaii hot boxing”
we snuck in some
careful touches
but she knew

you “escorted” me
to a wedding
got so stoned
i left you
sleeping at someone’s
house
and was giddy with
my new
responsibility

even when afterwards
you kept reaching
for a friends hand
vying for our
attention
to satisfy your
fantasy

i refused
with
pouty lips
and
we left her
behind
fuming
and i
succeeded
for the
very first time

listened to
“over the hills
and far away”
and it felt the way
i wanted it to
but
so quickly
it faded
into daylight

we don’t speak
anymore
but sometimes
send
messages
through
strangers –

censored
“hello’s”

sometimes
i don’t think of you
at all
but sometimes
my stomach
hurts
because i do
too much.

Tuesday, June 21, 2005

This is a tribute

to the blogs i love to read on a regular basis, either to be inspired, to be humoured or to get a naughty peeping tom kind of vibe (which is all good...hey i air out my dirty laundry too!)

Explosive Laughter We love Heather, she sends Mindy music AND helps her with her blog. She's an awesome photographer and web designer too.

Van Nasty She's a charleswood supa tuff and one of my oldest bestest friend. And I made her wear a bridesmaid dress and she doens't hate me.

Raymi She's beautiful and creative and doesn't give a shit if you don't like her blog. I love it!

Melissa She's a hilarious, no holding back Mom. She writes the way I think in my head and wish i could put on paper. "She's got skilz

Dirty Alana Who doens't appreciate a girl with a dirty mind. :)

Check these peeps out!



oh yeah and a big shout out to my bank lady who is helping us out because we are so poor.
We love you!!!
who made reading so hard?

Friday, June 17, 2005

they take a polaroid and let you go, say "they'll let you know"

I am definitely asking for an ass kicking that’s for sure.
I invited my mom’s side over for a barbeque this weekend.
It was supposed to be a simple non-martha-type event (which is tough for me), I didn’t even make any clever invitations, I just had my mom call a few aunts and have it go from there. I really just thought that someone in my family other than my mom and dad and brother should come over to my house. And why not!! I’ve been to all of their houses!!
Anyways, there are little kids and good food and booze and my favorite cousins that I miss coming in also so it should be a good time. I hope I survive it.

On another stressful note….Dan hasn’t gone back to work from shut down yet, which means no pay. Which means more credit card and utility companies calling and me pretending the “fake cry” in order to hold them off. Except for Bell Expressvu. This blog is a welcome spot for Expressvu haters. I loathe Bell Expressvu. How Suzie-Q’s goes out of business and they don’t amazes me. Suzy Q’s had wicked shakes, awesome hot dogs, jukebox that you can order songs from your table, Bell has shitty service, shitty programming and lobotomy subjects working in their customer service department.

But enough bout them…..let’s let my blood pressure settle a little bit

I just checked the weather network. Its now supposed to have a thunder shower tomorrow late in the day. Exactly when everyone is supposed to show up. Wonderfuck.

I am a happy girl. I really am. I have new flooring in my kitchen, freshly painted hallway, fixed gazebo roof, and Miss Heather D sent me some lovin via Canada Post this week also. Mixed Cd !!! yeah !! I’m loving the song 17 by Ladytron it’s killer creepyawesome. Thanks Heather!!!!! You rock girl!

I’ll keep you all posted on the barbeque front, also I’ll be stressing out about my doctors appointment with the fertility doctor on the 27th……I’ll have to go without Dan and I’ve only lost 10 lbs and not 15….ugh. I need some major motivation.

Also I’ll be posting some new entries on damselindistress poetry soon…..god I can’t wait to get myself a laptop……..

Have a good weekend kids. Don’t forget the sunscreen….

Stay tuned and we’ll be back after these messages……

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Go togther like a horse and carriage.

don't you all wish you had a husband that would invite all his loud friends over on your last night together before he goes away for two weeks and wrecks the nice dinner you had planned and then gets drunk, takes off, doesn't come home but leaves a nice voicemail at 2 am....
"usss, Mindy I can't come home cause usshh me and William are a little bit drinking"

I love being married.

Friday, June 10, 2005

and if the answer is no, can i change your mind

I'm alright
I'm ok

Hurting and stomach aching
but surviving.

Dan is home, on shut down
messing my house
organized chaos

it's amazing how lonely
you feel
when someone dies
and how guilty

but I'm alright
and I'm ok
i'm surviving.

Saturday, June 04, 2005

I'm screaming


Mindola
Originally uploaded by Skittlesjoss.

new me, and i dont' care

i feel like screaming
i feel like smashing ...anything
throwing porcelain through plate glass
taking my pills with my jack and coke
playing in traffic
talking to strangers
not wearing a seatbelt

i'm mad today more than sad
and sometimes i wish i could be mad
more often
i'm so tired of being quiet
i'm so tired of being invisible
i'm tired of being passed over
and not treated
and not having the same things done
to me
like i would do for you.

i'm grieving
i only got 1 email
no calls
she died and dan called
this morning and asked how
she was
i hung up the phone
i am a bitch
i drank jack daniels all day
i want to be a disaster
i can't pay attention anymore

Thursday, June 02, 2005

I'm a sullen girl, sullen girl

My good moods are never to last.

My grandma (dad's side) has pnuemonia. She's critical. My parents are away, thankfully coming back tonight at some point. How can a family who just went through this in March, go through all this again. I am more angry right now than sad, which in turn makes me guilty for being selfish. If that makes sense.

Dan isn't here. If anything does happen, if she does pass away. He can't come back. Who will let me squeeze their hand so hard to keep from crying. Who is going to comfort me just by being there.

This year was supposed to be so much better.

I should have known better

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Babies. Sweet little babies.

Zoom brought her babies into work today. It made my whole day, maybe even my whole week. It was also good to get me back on track with my meds and the whole diet and no chemicals thing. It's so easy to get frustrated and not remember why you are doing this in the first place, but I was reminded today. Sweet little babies. Twins no less. I am probably the only person that is hoping for twins. Lori always tells me how having twins was the best thing and that she can't imagine having just one.
I want babies right now so everyone say a silent prayer for my dumb overaies to start working properly, oh and bring my husband home for some lovin. Yeah I'm smart, I's know's my birds and bees.

Just what the world needs; another redneck ritalin'd up child. LOL.