Charleswood

that summer
spent undulating
hiding out
secrets and hushed
moaning to conceal
what we were told
we shouldn’t do

the night
she went
in and out of rooms
“hawaii hot boxing”
we snuck in some
careful touches
but she knew

you “escorted” me
to a wedding
got so stoned
i left you
sleeping at someone’s
house
and was giddy with
my new
responsibility

even when afterwards
you kept reaching
for a friends hand
vying for our
attention
to satisfy your
fantasy

i refused
with
pouty lips
and
we left her
behind
fuming
and i
succeeded
for the
very first time

listened to
“over the hills
and far away”
and it felt the way
i wanted it to
but
so quickly
it faded
into daylight

we don’t speak
anymore
but sometimes
send
messages
through
strangers –

censored
“hello’s”

sometimes
i don’t think of you
at all
but sometimes
my stomach
hurts
because i do
too much.