Friday, April 29, 2005


there is a boy at
the concourse mcdonalds
all perky and shiny
he looks just like
trev in our mcbeer days
and i smile, remembering
and he thinks
i am smiling at him
but that's ok.

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Things I am thankful

  • music I'm not sure how I would get through the day or any crisis without it.
  • my job I got a nice gift from the bosses today for doing a good job :) Yay me.
  • my mom for being a constant source of support all throughout the day.
  • blogs for allowing me and Va'Ness&MIMS to keep better in touch.
  • moving to charleswood my life would be completely different and no where near as good as it is now. As much as I hated it the first year after we moved there, it turned out to be the best times of my life.
  • strangers that make you smile. Ms. Dahlstrom you have been so nice. thank you!
  • Kathleen Edwards she rough, she's honest and i can relate to her beautiful songs
"And if you weren't so old, I'd probably keep you.
if you weren't so old, I'd tell my friends.

But I don't think your wife would like my friends."


I found a swedish berry under my keyboard.....maybe today will be a good day after all.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

I need all the wisdom I can get.....

Ok so the dentist says I have to get my wisdom teeth pulled out. I got crazy x-rays done and "apparently" my wisdom teeth are pushing on the roots of my back teeth and eventually the will distroy the root and the teeth will fall out. Since he's not doing the surgery and doesn't stand to profit from my agony, I believe him. Unless him and the surgeon are in kahoots(?).
I am kind of disturbed by this. I know that getting your wisdom teeth removed is common but the thought of it disturbs me. I mean seriously ! the only things I ever would allow removed from my body are:
  • tonsils, I would have gladly gotten rid of those suckers long ago.
  • a child/children
  • any kind of stones ie: kidney or ect...
other than that I would like to keep what "my momma gave me"
Speaking of momma's, mine offered to take the day off work when this unfortunate surgery will happen as I will be a complete/painfilled/mess
What a nice momma I have. It's not like I can count on Dan.... he'll just give me copious amounts of over the counter meds and try to feed me junk food. Boys.....I tell ya.
I'll keep you all posted as to when the big day will be. I'm sure you will all send me comments either encouraging me/horrifying me about your own wisdom teeth adventures.

ps. it's been 18 days and no alcohol. I am awesome! Don't even miss it.
pps. I should clarify that I am not an alcoholic but rather a girl going to a fertility clinic that had to make some sacrifices in order to prepare her body to be pregnant. Don't want the kid to be born pickled ,you know.

Monday, April 25, 2005

So much for being positive.....

I am using this blog as a tool today to feel better.
Heres' my list of what sucks today:
  • being nauseous
  • I have to take this metformin for my PCOS, it makes me nauseous, but I have to take it with lots of food 3 times a day but I can't eat cause I am nauseous
  • Dan is most likely leaving for the oil rigs within a month.
  • I still haven't replaced my hot water tank because we are bad with $$$$
  • it is snowing outside.
  • we need a whole new exhaust system for our quad as well as a new axle.
  • Dan flipped the quad again and I am sore today.
But on the bright side I was a nice girl on saturday and had a lot of fun. I guess I can be nice if I want to.... I am a nice girl!! :)

Friday, April 22, 2005

anyone have a miracle cure for nausea?

Damn you metformin!!!!

Wish me luck

I am going quading tomorrow with a few people that I am not fond of but have to make an effort to get along with for the sake of the husband.
This goes further into my previous post of defense tactics.
I always think that I am such a forgiving person but maybe I am forgiving with regards to my best friends and family rather than people that I am not super close to.
Also people in the Bradshaw family all pick apart people. I used to remember going to the Sals downtown with my Grandma for lunch and she'd have something to say about every friggin person that walked by. My Dad is the same way.

I want to be nice. I will be nice.
I will be pleasant and fun even if Dan's co worker brings his girlfriend to go with us.
For the sake of annonymity ( ?) we will name her .......wait ....I can't even think of a non-offending nickname. So I will stop this post right here.

Wish me luck people. Yay for nice girls.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

People that prank call businesses are assholes


I was reading last night and thinking about this whole blog thing. I decided to make this my chance to express myself as positively and without self-consciousness as I can. I can try and dig down and write about things without the sarcasm and negative thoughts that I am usually all about. I'm not really as negative as I come across but it seems as I get older the more I use it as a defense tactic. Sometimes I'm ok, but sometimes I am a huge explosive rant in order to cover up how i really feel or why. "she's a bitch" really means " i feel insecure around her" "I don't want to be anywhere near her" really means " i don't feel comfortable around her". It may be my need for attention or the fact that I am insecure but whatever. Vaness told me that blogging is therapeutic so I will try my best. I have a lot of things to work out right now. My crappy health, trying to have a little Joss to no avail, my husband wants to go off and work on some godforsaken oil rig to make us some sweet cash (which I am all for ....but there are some consequences)
Another big thing in my life is trying to stay (or go back) the person that I was before Dan. The girl that volunteered, wrote, painted, sang, attempted guitar, was "on the up and up" on the music scene. I have a lot of stuff that I want to try out and be doing before I have kids. I want to have kids that are exposed to everything : music, sports, art, literature, travel ....... I just want to be fully prepared before this happens. Maybe that is why things are happening the way they do (or rather; not happening) ......grrr the phone just rang and interrupted my thought.
We'll that's enough for right now....

does any of that even make any sense? who cares! it's therapeutic. I feel better!

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Dan the Man and Mindola Posted by Hello

No he's not mine.....but i'd keep him :)

Jacob....although not impressed at the arguably the cutest baby ever. Posted by Hello

Why can't you paste things !?!

my crisp rubber plant hugs the light
doled out by my ikea lamp
i can hear overlapping sales mumbo jumbo
and slamming of the bubble hockey table
and my desk vibrates from the hum of the a.c
counting minutes
counting seconds
don't know why, i like it here
but home is more fun
i can barely see the sunlight
leaning over the partitions
crawling on the floor
but not meant for me

i can't believe i think like this for 8 hrs a day.....

Best Things

Today I was thinking that it is hard to remember what your favourite things are when asked. I can never remember my favourite things except when I am at work, and I should be thinking about baseball and football and sending old and rich people their brochures..
So here is my list of my you know what yours are?

  • music with headphones
  • chicken rotis
  • living in the country
  • having people over
  • homemade martinis
  • cosying up in bed with a good book
  • how the rain smells
  • vaness' mixed cd's
  • brunch on christmas day
  • driving the quad
  • movie nights with danny
  • going to the A-Frame
  • may long weekends
  • thinking about having a little Joss
  • working at Roadtrips
  • baking on sundays
  • lunch hours with mom
  • seeing dan's sisters
  • e-mails from friends ( not forwards or jokes but real emails)
  • cheques from the government
  • playing with Ally & Austin
  • Neko Case
  • Fork River Fall Suppers
  • Whistler
There's more but I am scratching my head at this point.

It's wait.

I can't believe it's only tuesday....i feel like i have been at work for 4 weeks straight.
I can't think about anything this morning except:

- Going quading on the weekend
-Vanessa and her blog and how happy it made me ( hence why I am here now :)
-My queasy stomach.

I just wrote that it is tuesday and i looked at the top right hand corner and to my delight it
is wednesday!!! But i still feel like i have been working forever.

Vaness have you heard about Rilo Kiley? I am kind of fond of them.

I am a virgin blogger forgive me!!!