Who was at the Oakbank Bar on Friday night. Although I was flattered you thought I was so attractive, I didn't appreciate the fact you spilled beer on my purse and jacket and kept touching my cheeks. Didn't you learn about personal space back when you were in school in 1902? Your acapella version of "Hollaback Girl" and "500 Miles" were very amusing, but not enough to make me follow you with my friend Heather back to your place for a party, although thanks for the offer. Oh and by the way, I phoned my husband and told him what you asked me to tell him, and he says "that he knows how lucky he is"
and Heather thanks you for saying that she was "reasonably attractive and has shitload lot of baggage" Your wife must be a very lucky woman.
Yours Sincerely,
The Girl with the Cheeks.
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